Spinning

My head has been spinning. I have had a very busy two weeks. I have been thinking about so much. So many things that are so important right now, but one year from now I may not even remember these things, even though the decisions I make on them may affect greatly where I am in a year. To me it has seemed like so many things are way too important to too many people. When I think about the people that have changed the way I live I don't think about what clothes they wore or what their GPA was in school. I don't care whether or not they were gay, straight, black, white or yellow. What matters most to me in the world is the type of person you are and what kind of character you possess. Not everyone is going to change the world.

Childhood Freewrite

I am eating a Dixie cup from the ice cream man on my living room couch. It is Friday night and there is no party, no girls, no bars or trouble. Here I am safe from the world again unlike the passed years of my life. The wooden taste of the spoon brings me back and I’m playing kickball again. I’m watching TGIF, Boy Meets World, Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. My parents have friends over and I’m watching an R rated movie. I don’t know where my brothers are and what are cell phones? My grandparents just left and I got the word in the Bonus round of Wheel of fortune. I hope moms not making London broil tomorrow night. I hope I get N64 for Christmas. I hope Billy is in my class when school starts. I’m hungry Mom can you make me popcorn. Why don’t I have the same math homework as my friends? What is the big deal about sports center can we put on saved by the bell? I hope Beave comes over before school and plays ninja turtles. I can’t wait until I get out as early as Timmy from high school. I’m never going to be able to dribble between my legs like my brother can he can be in the NBA I think. My dad is the strongest person I know. I hope my grandpa takes me to the park tomorrow I love hide and go seek. Tell me another story about Ireland. Why’d they kill that guy and how come America won’t just help Ireland? I miss my sister. I’m gonna send her a dollar in the mail she always tells mom how she’s always broke up at college I hope she’ll be OK. Brian has chocolate milk fountains in college its amazing how do they have chocolate milk fountains I want to go to college? I want to be able to do what my brothers do I want the things they want. But now I’m done with my Dixie Cup and I get a call from Mike. Everyone’s headed up to Monahan’s. I’m throwing on a sweater, borrow $20 from my brother and now owe him $60 and I’m out the door. See you tomorrow ma. I give my Dad a pound and laugh. My dad weighs 30lbs less than me my parents haven’t had friends over in a long time. Danny calls me from his friend’s phone and wants me to buy him beers. After the bar I get a cab to Danielle’s house because she’s all I want to see. Danielle, she makes me feel like I’m eating a Dixie Cup again. She doesn’t care how much money I owe anyone or how much work I have to do. She doesn’t care if I have bad grades or if I have a bad day on the golf course. It’ll be OK she says. You’ll figure it out, you’ll do better next time, and you’ll get the money somehow. It doesn’t matter to her she’s just happy she’s with me. I wake up with a headache and she offers me an Advil that she knows I won’t take. She just doesn’t like to see me in pain. I pull her as close as possible and just press my cheek to hers. There is no better medicine. All my problems and worries are gone this is all I need. I don’t care about the money, the grades or the golf I care about her. I’ll figure everything out I’ll get back on my feet. It’s amazing how one person can make you feel. Its amazing how feeling like a kid again helps me face life’s problems. Just yesterday I didn’t know how I would get through the mess I’m in. It’s a piece of cake as I get out of bed and ask her if she wants to get breakfast. She’s unbelievable. She loves me.

Pig

There is a song from the Dave Matthews Band called "Pig". For some reason its just been ringing through my head all week. I think its because I have been feeling overwhelmed with midterms and I have not been doing too well with my grades. The song is a warning to all listeners about the dangers of taking things for granted. My favorite line in the song comes after Matthews, the lead singer, belts out at the top of his lungs a few lines about the importance of love in every situation. The line is "Don't burn the day away". I really love this line because with everything else going on in the song he repeats this the same way every time, with no instruments playing in the background and all your attention is brought to this one line. Matthews, in doing this, warns the listeners by bringin so much attention to this simple phrase, that there are many way to waste a day but no matter what every single day should be lived to the fullest with love in our hearts and trying to find love in all people and places. Throughout the song he talks about simple things, like a starry night, skipping stones on a lake, and dancing alone with a lover, that if your hearts full of love at least you're living life. Nothing can be taken for granted and everything we do should be to the fullest. He is sick and tired of all the people in the world that have so much and complain about not having enough and calls these people "pigs". He believes that appreciating life and having love in your life is what makes a person truly happy and not what type of things they own. Greed can consume and Matthews tries dearly to warn his audience of this.